Before I came to Mountain Vista Farm my disease was pretty under the radar for most the family. They didn’t know; I kept it kind of quiet, but I had been either drinking or using for about 30 years. It was a desperate life. Pretty flat: I didn’t see much hope. The six months prior to coming here was pretty dark for me.  They picked me up after I remanded.

I got here and everybody was just so nice. All the other residents, all the other clients, the staff, the counselor they assigned me to: it just seemed like he understood everything about me. I could tell that they’ve been doing this a while. They had the experience that finally let me know that something could change. 

I didn’t expect to stay clean and sober. I didn’t think I had what it took. I was told up here by someone at a meeting that I didn’t have to be convinced that recovery was going to work for me. I only had to be convinced that my way wasn’t working, and that if I didn’t like recovery, I could always have my misery refunded. 

I said, “Oh that’s great, I know how to be miserable.” 

I didn’t know how to do this, but they were teaching me. They were showing me and guiding me through that first initial phase of what was going to be like to live a 12-step lifestyle if I chose to. What have I got to lose? They genuinely cared about what I had been through what I was going through. They helped me discover why I had gotten here and what I had been through. 

There is hope and a new life. You don’t have to know what that looks like yet. You just have to trust the people that have been doing this a long time that have dedicated their lives to helping people.

I could feel that and all the staff here gave me an opportunity to look into myself. Parts that I had never looked into before. That’s what I got out of here was a deep understanding of myself: that I had been waiting 45 years for.

I’m still sorry it took so long for me to get here, but I’m sure glad I did.